lovely

"Beauty, unaccompanied by virtue, is as a flower without perfume."

-French Proverb

Lilacs at Carnton Plantation
Franklin, TN
Photo: Rachel Graham

remember

Yesterday was the 9th anniversary of the Columbine shootings. Since I was a sophomore back in 1999, it has never been a day that seems to sneak up on me. I grew up in a suburb of Detroit, miles away from the "not so little town" of Littleton, CO where the shootings took place.

No matter the distance, what happened there effected me greatly. Maybe it was because of the fact that I was 17 years old at the time and my life wasn't too different from the lives of the students that walked those halls of Columbine on that spring morning. Lives full of homework, pop quizzes, extra curricular activities, passing notes in class, dances, driving permits, cruising with friends, curfews, hall passes, running to class to keep from being tardy, best friends, cliques, pep rallies, and awful cafeteria food. I guess each generation is faced with some sort of event that shakes them, wakes them up, leaves them with questions in search of answers, and finds them looking within themselves to find a way to make their own selves and this world better. Columbine was that event for the youth of my generation. The kind of event you never forget and vow always to remember.

The first student killed that day was Rachel Scott. Her life and story remains to be an inspiration to me and so many others. She lived a life of compassion and love and was wise beyond her 17 years. God used the life of this young girl to change my life forever. Through Rachel's story, I learned the importance of being true, standing up for what I believe, and showing love and compassion to others. With that in mind, years ago I decided not to focus on the death of that day in 1999 but to look within my own heart and see what I can do to make myself and my corner of the world better. April 20th has become a day for me to reflect on all I've been given, celebrate all I have, and love on the family and friends that warmly surround me.

A couple days ago, I found a website I had made back in 2001. On this website, I found many poems I had written from 7th grade up through my first year of college. I also found a story I wrote for my creative writing class during my senior year of high school. For this particular assignment we were asked to write about one of our own personal experiences and in part of my story (about helping a homesless man) I talk about Rachel Scott. I believe that, had it not been for Rachel and her example, that story would have never been written; there would have been no story to tell. Because, it was her example that inspired and motivated me to step out of my comfort zone and help someone in need. God can take the bad and use it for good; I know that for sure. I will end this blog with that story and an encouragement to take the time to tell those dear to your heart that you love them and to reach out to someone that is less fortunate than you. God has really lavished us with His love and blessings and therefore, we have so much to offer others.


Good night,
Rachel

About Rachel Scott: www.rachelschallenge.com

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Silent Thank You's
by: Rachel Graham
April 24, 2001
Creative Writing



I remember the exact moment I first saw him. I was pulling into the National Coney Island to meet some friends for lunch on an early dismissal day of school. He wore clothes that were tattered and worn and his shoes had holes from a daily routine of walking. Flung on his back was a plastic garbage bag; his worldly possessions.

The realization came to me that this man was homeless. He had nothing. There was this pull on my heart to do something to help this man but I selfishly pushed the thought from my mind thinking only about finding a decent spot to park my car in the crowded parking lot. I settled for an out-of-the-way spot towards the back of the restaurant.

As I was walking towards the entrance to meet my friends, he passed me. In an instant that somehow seemed to last longer, as if it were in slow motion, our eyes met. Looking into them, I think I was able to see through him. Staring or glancing back at me was this person who looked as if he thought he was so unworthy. In his eyes there sat a look of timidness, yet still, they cried out to me. Then, there is was again… the pull. I kept walking but the feeling wouldn’t go away. I thought that maybe I should give him money. Turning towards the restaurant window, I noticed that it was crowded with kids from my school. What would they think? Would they laugh? Would I be labeled weird for “reaching out to a crazy man?”

I suddenly stopped in my tracks. Something I had read almost a year before came to mind. It was a story of an experience Rachel Scott had, a Columbine victim, called “Gloves of Conviction.” In the story she talks about how she didn’t follow the pulls on her heart by God to reach out to a poor woman who came into a Subway shop where Rachel worked because of the “what-if’s” that filled her mind. Later, someone else reached out to the poor woman. Rachel lost her chance to receive something great from giving and showing love to a person she didn’t really know. The very last paragraph of that story echoed in my head:

“You lost. You passed up the chance to gain something. You just let a wonderful flame go past you and into the hands of another. Let this be known, child, when you do not follow through with the boldness and knowledge I have given you, more than one person is affected by it. You as well as they.”

I heard it load and clear and I instantly knew what I had to do. I was to learn from Rachel’s mistake. What other people thought of me at that moment didn’t matter. I had to put this person and my faith in front of myself. I had to follow the pull. I had to reach out. I am my brother’s keeper. I fished through my purse and removed a five-dollar bill. It was almost everything I had but he needed it more than I did… more than I hope I ever will. Praying that he was still there, I turned and walked to the place where we had passed each other a few minutes before. There he was, in front of me, searching through a garbage can. He was turned away from me with a pop bottle in his hand as I said hello. I don’t think he heard my greeting so I came to his side and extended the bill. He looked over from the can and stared at the money. I watched as his eyes grew large and then the pop bottle fell from his hand from amazement as he slowly took the bill from me. He turned toward me and smiled the biggest and most true smile I had ever seen. He had been touched and moved so deeply. As tears welled up in his eyes, he took my hand to kiss it and tried to speak something to me but nothing came out. “Thank you.” He couldn’t speak… he had no voice. All there was, was a silent thank you. He couldn’t have expressed himself more clearly if he had screamed it at the top of his lungs. I showed the love and compassion of Christ to him. My heart heard what my ears could not.

Later, I realized that I had been blessed by being given the opportunity to give to this precious person. In his world people pass him everyday, not giving him a second look and ignoring the pulls on their hearts to give. Because of this, he was feeding himself a constant diet of thoughts that people didn’t care for him and that there was no love in the world for him. I will never forget the look on his face when I saw all the pain and despair melt away and be replaced with the joy that only God can give. He realized, at that moment, that there was love for him. God used me to give him hope. I’m eternally grateful. From this day forward, I will strive to be a voice for the people the world cannot hear. I will serve those that are over-looked. What else is more fulfilling? To God, I give a heart full of “silent thank you’s” and a voice full of praise.